A Pet Peeve about Laundry Detergent

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I developed an interest in laundry detergent recently, in that I went out of my way to check different brands and their ingredients.

Something that particularly urked me when checking the detergent containers were the claims on their containers:

"5-in-1" cleaning effect! (Or whatever.*)

Antiviral / Antifungal!
Rid of smells!
Removes stains!

...That's just describing the how "detergent" chemicals wash stuff away in 5 different ways.

That's like saying water is:

  • Wetting!
  • Hydrating!
  • Moistening!
  • Rids of thirst!
  • Rinses away dirt!

Why stop at 5 cleaning functions?

Here are some more detergent claims you can make, which you can take for free!

  • Removes soil!
  • Removes food!
  • Removes sweat!
  • Remove oils easily!
  • Removes dust and dust mites!
  • Temporarily slows microbial growth after washing!
  • Makes the colours in your clothing brighter by removing the gunk on top!
  • Enhances 'wetting' to make the water in your laundry machine work better at washing!
  • Fills your washing machine with soap for that satisfying soapy cleaning look! (Don't actually do this**)

Think about that 14-in-1 claim you can make; your competitors will cower in fear about their complete inability to compete.

They should hire me to be part of their marketing team.

I'm thinking this particularly irritates me because I'm quite familiar with chemicals and the function of each ingredient that makes up a dose of medicine.

*It was so generic to me that I literally don't remember the exact claim and functions.

**Don't actually overdose laundry detergent to over-sud your laundry/washing machine. Overdosing detergent does not clean better, and may actually reduce cleaning efficacy, and it's just a waste of detergent.

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